In Canada, it is estimated that 40 percent of first-time marriages end in divorce. This is a sad and cold but true statistic. What happens to couples over time? They fall in love with each other and then within only a couple of years they morph that love into disdain. Why?
Therapists, poets, and divorce attorneys can’t answer these questions. We just reduce it to a shrug and uttering “it happens.”
But before you think that it is time to call it quits on your marriage of seven years, it is important to determine if it is the right course of action. Many divorce lawyers have seen couples split on the most fatuous of reasons. They’ve also seen perturbed cases of husbands and wives using their children as pawns. It can get quite ugly.
It is imperative to walk into the scenario with your eyes wide open.
Here are five about divorce every divorce lawyer wants you to know:
1. Divorce Should Always be Last Resort
Many relationship experts believe that getting a divorce should be a lot harder than it currently is. Today, all it takes is essentially separating for a year and then agree to a divorce. There may be some certain added measures in between, but that’s how it works for the most part.
Well, it may be difficult to do when there is an easy get out of jail free card, but you need to be your own better judgment in this entire marriage.
In other words, divorce should be the very last resort.
A divorce lawyer will tell you to go to marriage counseling, perform some introspection, communicate honestly with your other half, and think of the children. If all else fails, then you can move ahead with divorce proceedings.
Don’t be flippant about marriage or divorce.
2. It Will be a Costly Procedure
Unless both partners want to amicably part ways and split everything down the middle, moving forward with divorce can be a costly and bitter endeavour.
When you factor in a large house, a nice automobile, a couple of kids, a hefty retirement account, and a lengthy laundry list of assets, the divorce isn’t that simple. This is especially true if you feel that you have been wronged by your husband or wife, whether they have cheated on you or they have become emotionally detached.
As time goes by, and you calculate attorney fees, court costs, paperwork charges, you will find out that your bank account is running on empty. You need to be prepared for this.
3. Bitter? You Should Still Compromise
If you’re angry, bitter, or seeking revenge, then the divorce will be messy. That said, even if you feel a diverse array of negative emotions, you must still compromise during the divorce claim.
Should you abandon this responsible and correct way of filing for divorce, then you will ensure that the entire affair is prolonged and you will only exacerbate the proceedings.
It is best to reach a compromise and agree to a settlement almost immediately.
4. Your Children Must be Put First
If children are involved, then it complicates matters greatly. This is the hardest part of a divorce for both the family and the legal professionals involved.
Ultimately, you and your partner need to put your children first at all times. Whether this entails staying in the marriage for the sake of the children or trying to make the divorce as painless and quick as possible, your son and/or daughter must be taken into account.
Many parents say that they are putting their kids first, but an outside observe knows they’re not.
5. Avoid Using Your Lawyer as a Therapist
A divorce can be emotionally draining. You’re running on empty, you’re upset, and you just want to cry on someone’s shoulder. It can seem easy and even tempting to use your lawyer as a therapist, a crutch. But you refrain from doing this for a myriad of reasons.
First, an attorney isn’t your therapist. Second, an attorney is representing your best interests and cannot be emotionally attached. Third, if you need to let it all out, then hire a psychotherapist. Plus, if you believe there are some romantic feelings brewing, prevent it from happening.
They say that the No. 1 cause of divorce is marriage.
All jokes aside, divorce is a stressful, agonizing, and difficult affair. It can tear apart a home, divide families, and produce resentment among friends and relatives. It is never easy, no matter how many funny remarks you hear about divorce.
A divorce lawyer wants you to be aware of all of the formalities and factors that go along with every case. Yours won’t be an exception. Are you sure this is what you want? Think about it.